Life and its lessons.
Graduation
12 years of lessons, and what I leave behind in 2018
Though the classes for the lessons I learned in 2018 started back in 2008, it took 12 years to graduate and become clear on what the experiences of life were teaching. Through those 12 years, I was put in Parenthood 300, blending my family of three into seven and birthing one completing our family unit of eight. My skills in counseling, doctoring, Teaching, Mentoring, loving (the list goes on) advanced to the power of 10 square. Family outings, meetings, conversations, and celebrations. All of it was a class of joy for me.
The class I found to be interesting was friendship 201 interesting because, as a young girl, brought up with hearing, you will either have real friends or Acquaintances, and I carried this lesson with me threw out life; it served its purpose well. Then one day, the new friendship course 202 was introduced. The teacher broke it down in different terms and added additional categories: Confidants, Constituents, and Comrades in the words of TD Jakes: “Confidants are the people who will stand by you. You will only have 2-3 people who love you unconditionally and will have your back, Constituents - they are not for you; they are for the causes you are for. They will leave you if they find someone who can further their agenda. Then you have Comrades; They come to take care of a specific purpose they are not for you or for what you are for, they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to cancel out the thing you are against, but in the end, the Constituents and Comrades will leave you because they were never with you in the first place.” It was interesting to see this lesson play itself out over the years, even to this day.
Now the courses that I found to bring me the Most Joy and Happiness and even more significant pain, Love, Loss, and Grief 101. Not only was I shown, love. I gave love from the deepest part of my soul and heart. I experienced love from one man, and he showed it not just threw intimacy but threw Friendship (He became my best friend), Counseling/Mentoring ( he was my counselor and mentor when I need someone to talk to or needed a push or guide in the right direction.) Doctor(he was my caregiver when I was sick many times), Protector (He was the guard of my heart and our family), Supporter ( he was my Number one Cheerleader even when he was not sure of the outcome) and above all Lover ( I Loved me some Him). And as much as he was all this for me, I became all that for him. Then the 2nd half of the course came Loss 101: Within a blink of my eye, the Love of my Life was taken from me The family that we had built torn apart, learning the real lesson of loss from the loss of my heart (the Love of my Life), family, house and friends within 2month time frame. An injury that left my heart empty and Grief 101 Is still in session, which has helped me realize the things I am leaving in 2018.
After going through 11 years of lessons in love and life in general by the end of 2018, I realized that I no longer continue to entertain the thought or people who no longer deserve my time or serve me. I leave behind unprincipled, mendacious, disreputable, devious, and above all, dishonest people. The revelation of shady, misleading, and deceitful people that I had come to know and love as friends and family punched me in the face leaving a ringing in my ears with the echoes from the lessons of friendship 202. By the end of this class, it was obvious who the Constituents and Comrades were—leaving me and mine on the street to search for an ointment to lessen the pain from the wounds. Boarder for shelter from the storm. The Coat of Armor from God to prepare for the battle that was coming. Words of Prayer and assurance from my true confidants. To my constituents, I appreciate you joined the cause because my belief was also your belief for a while. Thank you for the laughs and tears that were shared, there where many memories that I will reminisce on however because your primary objective was and is to look out for self, I salute you and says goodbye in 2018. I pray God brings you all that you are looking for in 2019 and going forward. To my Comrades, I appreciate that you spoke up and voiced your opinions and gave some direction on issues that we both disagreed on. As with my constituents there where memories, that I will recall back on in the days, months and years to come but as of today December 31st, 2018 I salute and bid you a due, my wish for you is the same as with the constituents that you find what you are seeking, God Bless you.
The lesson of friendship caused me to take a good look at self. I Made it law in my life as 2018 takes its final bough and exits stage left for the last time; it carries all my self-doubt, self-sabotage, anger, fear, and feeling of rejection I leave it here. So to 2018, I say thank you for the lessons that took 12 years to learn I leave everything that was sent to hurt and destroy me here with you. 2019 here I come, all though my grieving process is still active I will walk into the New Year as the women God has called me to be; I will rebuild our lives from the ground up because The God I serve did not give me the spirit of fear, he gave me power. Power to withstand the storm and rebuild ten times better and bigger than before. As I sit and think over all that has transpired, another revelation has come to me. Everything I went threw due to his divine order putting 2018 as the 12th year; 12 is known as the total number of completion, he has granted me a new beginning. Look At GOD.